Bryan Golden
Drop the Hot Coals
Would you have any desire to pick up hot coals? If you were holding hot coals, wouldn’t you drop them immediately? Just the thought of being burned by hot coals is enough to make you wince in pain.
Yet, not only do people stubbornly hold onto emotional hot coals, they pick up additional hot coals at every opportunity. In addition to pain, these emotional hot coals are very damaging.
Ironically, those who hold onto a number of these hot coal emotions, mistakenly believe that they are in fact getting even with others. Anger, resentment, and bitterness are erroneously thought to inflict discomfort on others.
These three emotions poison your wellbeing. Although one thinks anger, resentment, and bitterness are directed towards someone else, they are hot coals which burn you. You need to drop them before you are harmed.
People will do things which cause you to be angry. You will resent the actions of others, and some situations will leave you feeling bitter. So how do you let go of these emotions? Recognize that although you can’t control the actions of others, you can control your response.
Since feeling angry, resentful, or bitter won’t change anything, there is no point to harboring these emotions. Instead, determine what positive action you can take to rectify or mitigate a situation. Don’t give people or circumstances power over your wellbeing.
Frustration is another hot coal emotion. No one is happy when things don’t work out as planned, or take much longer than anticipated. Instead of fuming with frustration, figure out what needs to be changed in order to obtain your desired results. Be willing to alter your path or strategy as needed.
Helplessness is another emotion you need to drop. You abdicate control of your life when you view yourself as a victim. Some things that happen to you may be out of your control, but you do have control over how you respond. Regardless of the circumstances you are facing, there is positive action you can take to improve your situation.
The emotion of fear is paralyzing. The harder you grasp it, the more damage it does. Fear blows potential problems out of proportion. Furthermore, the fears you obsess over program your mind to attract those very things you are looking to avoid.
Let go of fear by doing what you are afraid to do and going where you are afraid to go. Move forward in small steps. You’ll see that your mind has made the fear much worse than reality. As you begin to conquer fear, your confidence and progress will grow.
The concept of failure, whether real or imagined, should also be dropped. Since you only fail when you give up, there is no failure as long as you never give up. What is typically viewed as failure is a situation which did not work out as planned. The appropriate response is to change your approach, not give up. This process may have to be repeated numerous times before success is attained.
Let go of sadness. You are free to pick what you focus on. Focus on aspects of life which make you happy. Smile and laugh. Develop and cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Have a list of at least 10 things you are grateful for and review your list several times a day.
Take an inventory of the emotions you are holding onto. Let go of any which are causing you anguish. It is never too late to make positive changes in your life.
